i guess i come of as a bitch to you because.. i just want what you have. i want to be happy, i want someone to call me babe and kiss my forehead while i sleep. i want to finally be good enough for someone.
you know what i really liked about you? when i smiled or when i laughed, you would look at me like i was the most beautiful girl in the world. you would look at my smile, & you’d smile too. and that would make me feel tons better, no matter what. i miss you, & i miss your stupid face & your sweet eyes and cute smile. & your skinny arms, and your slight michigan accent and how you laughed. and i shouldn’t miss you, not even one bit. but i can’t help myself. i miss you.
it’s not fair. you deserve to be here, it’s not fair that you had to go. I miss you so much, every single second of everyday and it hurts that I have to wake up every single morning, realizing that you’re not here. I’m hoping by some miracle that up until now it’s just all been a dream and that I’ll wake up and you’ll appear right beside me. but it’s not. it’s reality and it’s a nightmare.
okay so now you want me to pretend that everythings okay? that you didn’t hurt me? that you didn’t make me feel more worthless & more not-good-enough? that you didn’t say that stuff about me? you want me to go back to the way things were? i want to ignore you and be a bitch. well fuck, because i can’t. & double fuck because i’m hella happy we talk again.