you know what? it honestly bothers me that i care. i shouldn’t care about him or what he does in his spare time. i shouldn’t give a shit if he drinks or if he smokes or if he does other stupid stuff. i shouldn’t care about him. but i do, and i don’t know why. i know he doesn’t care back & i know he probably never will. i’m tired of talking to him each day & falling a little more. i hate the fact that i like him and i can’t do anything about it. i hate the fact that i don’t wanna change it. i hate the fact that, from what i feel now, i could wait forever. but i know i can’t. he doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend, and i’ll have to live with that. but you know, being friends with someone you wanna be with is living hell.